the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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