Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
