You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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