Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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