you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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