I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
