So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
