my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
