Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
