What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
