ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize