Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
