She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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