my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
