He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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