Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
