apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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