sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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