I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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