She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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