my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
