standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
