she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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