No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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