To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently you make a good broom.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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