I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
