i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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