just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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