Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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