the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
