sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
