She announced her abortion via fbk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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