That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
