i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
