i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
