I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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