u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize