No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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