Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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