I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
