i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
