Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
