we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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