don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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