I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he shaved USA in his pubs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
