nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
