dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
