Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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