She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
