apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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