You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
