He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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