We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
