We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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