from now on my penis is your penis
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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