i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
