I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
