Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize