Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
