Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
