he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
