I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
