I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
